Parenting comes with ups and downs and I have witnessed and observed how our kids feed off us. When we are stressed, they feel it. Equally, when we give positive attention, we create positive ripples of love they lap it up relish in the warmth of our love.
A few years ago, when I interviewed Dr. Justin Coulson he said emotions are infectious, so no matter what their nature, our emotions infect those around us. Unfortunately, the negative ones tend to pick up extra energy and when one person is slightly grumpy, the negative vibe fills the room, causing everyone to feel a bit miserable. The good news is that the happy, positive enthusiastic energy does exactly the same thing. So do what you can to encourage the positive flow into the lives of your loved ones.
Showering your child with positive attention
1. Understand that your child’s poor behaviour is often a request to spend time together
There a 5 key reasons behind all behaviours. One of these is your child’s innate desire and need for your attention, especially during busy times. Unfortunately for you and your kids, any attention good and bad will satisfy this need. So, the type of response you give your children is up to you. If you keep connecting wherever you can, there is likely to be less need for them to play up to capture you.
Hint: Give them the positive attention before they start playing up so that your connections are positive and meaningful.
2. Schedule and make time to spend together
You can make a real impact by giving the person you are with your focused attention. Kids love it when you do things with them. Play a game, go for a walk, go to the park and play catch, throw the ball. If your child is older, get a cuppa together. If you want to help instil positive thinking, create a gratefulness journal to work on together, or include a moment to acknowledge and recognise what you are both grateful for. Of course if you really want to make the most of the time, put your devices aside, capture the moment in your hearts and minds, not by trying to capture it in a photograph on your phone.
Hint: If you don’t plan for it to happen, it probably won’t. So commit the time and enjoy the moments
3. Build up your love map of your child
When you notice all the special loving qualities your child displays, it is easier to overlook or spend less energy focusing on what you don’t like. So keep an eye out for all the beautiful things your child does and be sure to share what you are observing.
Hint: See more ideas here on how to build your love map of your child.
4. Keep your mindset positive
They say happiness is an inside job, the more you look on the bright side, the more brightness you will see. I am not suggesting you walk around ignoring things that upset you, however, I do recommend that you look for the silver lining, because no matter how challenging things might be for you, sadly there is always someone else in a worse off position. Look around you and do your best to find your pleasure.
Hint: Recognise one thing in your life you are truly grateful for every day. It is less likely for you to feel down when you recognise and appreciate what is wonderful in your world.
5. Stop worrying about what others think and focus on your relationship with your child
Have you ever felt like you want to a hole to open up and absorb you, when your child’s behaviour embarrasses you? The only response to that, in my opinion, is:
- Stop worrying about what anyone else thinks…
- Pause and either look your child in the eye or put your hand on their shoulder and say….”What can I do to help you?”
What others think is their problem, the way I see it, your role is to always be the very best you possible for your child, and if they are acting up, they are probably telling you… I need you mum, this is too big for me to deal with on my own.
Hint: Always have your child’s back, that way they know they can always count on you.
Place being positive around your family as a priority, where attention goes energy flows…. What will you do to connect positively and create a ripple effect of love on your child today?