I hear parents say “What if I can’t be everything that my children need?” “I love my child so much, but am I enough for my child.” “What if I cannot provide them with all the things that they need from me?”
Well, I don’t believe you have to be everything to our child. If they know we love them, that is the very best place for us to start.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
We are so lucky to live in an incredible world that allows us access to amazing human beings who have been through so many varying experiences.
No-one person can be everything to anyone, think of your relationships with your partner and your friends. Some might be our soul mates, our confidantes, our advisors and even our fellow partygoers. How many women love going to the footy more than they love sitting across the table from a girlfriend having a chat? Which man do you know that really wants to watch other people’s kids play piano while waiting to see their own child perform?
Most people (and I hope this includes you), are lucky enough to have a handful of special people in their lives, be it friends or family.
Look around you, and find the ideal person that could teach your child
What do you want help with, who can teach your child how to answer a maths question, bake a soufflé, produce a science project, ride a bike, play tennis, knit a jumper (or a scarf), shoot hoops, paint a masterpiece, write a story, share an emotional experience or even debate a burning issue.
In the business world, no one tries to do it all themselves, they ask for help or pay for it. Now I am not suggesting you pay for help, but you are surrounded by your unique friends and family who you love and trust, and they have skills, strengths and amazing characteristics that you admire. Your children might love to have these abilities too.
Be mindful of the person that you choose to support your child
Be sure that both you and your child feel comfortable with the person that you have chosen to teach your child. It is crucial that you are guided by your child. If they show hesitation or discomfort, ask them if they would like you to be there for the “lesson” encouraging them to try learning from someone else. But be aware, if your child is unhappy and does not want to be with that person, no matter how much you trust them or want to encourage the relationship, don’t force it because then you are building the exact opposite of the supportive network you are aiming to develop.
Share your skills
Go ahead, outsource what you don’t do well to your friends and family you admire and trust. Then offer to reciprocate. Teach their children something you are good at. Share your skills.
Communities involve love and support. Help create a community of support around your child to give them everything that they might need. In that way, you can give them everything that you are unable to give them yourself.
You will never need to ask yourself “Am I enough?” again. You will know that your ability to support them with the help of others means that you are!
Do you have someone in mind that can support you and your family right now, will you ask for their help?